Your chance to be Freud

For some reason I dream a lot more in Vienna. More dreams, stranger, and more memorable.

A weird one from last night: I was somewhere in Missouri. A house in a rural area. I was there to meet my friend Skip G, who lives in St. Louis but in the dream he was living in the sticks. We were going to go for a drive, but each of us driving our own car. VW Beetles, as it turns out. The old kind, not the new one.

So I knocked on his door, then went back to my car and started it. While waiting for him to come out I noticed an iguana walking back and forth parallel to the side of his car. Then suddenly I noticed Skip, who had crawled under his car. In real life this is impossible, because Skip is a giant of a man and not even an anorexic girl could fit under a Bug. Anyhow, Skip was laying on his side. I was about to ask him WTF when I noticed him firing a stream of urine from beneath the car, about fifteen feet out, directly into the path of the pacing iguana---who walked right into the stream but kept going, seemingly oblivious. (Another thing that would never happen in real life, because no man in his late 50s can fire a stream of piss fifteen feet. Your range and pressure decreases significantly after the age of 10.)

I kept hearing a kitten meowing, even over the sound of the engine, and I wondered where the sound was coming from but it was time to go, the ritual with the iguana having reached its logical (?) conclusion. So I took off down a gravel road, looking from time to time in my rear view mirror for Skip's car. Finally I noticed it, maybe a quarter of a mile behind me.

The meowing continued and it suddenly dawned on me that the kitten was probably in the car somewhere. I was just about to pull over and find the kitten when I woke up.

I've had some weird dreams before, but never one in which a guy ambushes an iguana with a stream of high-pressure piss from beneath a car.

You figure it out, Freud. I can't.